Let Them Fight
Last Friday the president of the United States trudged into the Rose Garden a torpid mess, with his tuft of hair-like substance sitting lifelessly on his head. It was a harbinger of the weekend to come. Presiding over the longest government shutdown ever had taken its toll on the president: His face looked more bloated, his eyes tired from the strain of all those days without golf. He had the walk of a defeated man. Speaking from the podium, Trump seemed both bored and irritable.
He began a freestyle monologue about women with duct tape over their mouths and then, just a few minutes later, it was all over. Donald Trump—the master negotiator, the dominance politician, the galaxy brain—had caved.
The president’s desultory weakness then touched off an entirely predictable war between his power-hungry sycophants and the anti-immigrant ideologues who previously had combined to form Trump’s unified media base.
And now, just as he split the Republican party three years ago, the president has fractured the party of Trump, too.
Ann Coulter was furious and took Trump reopening the government as a personal betrayal.
Good news for George Herbert Walker Bush: As of today, he is no longer the biggest wimp ever to serve as President of the United States.
— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) January 25, 2019
Also enraged was Coulter’s younger, dumber Mini-Me, Tomi Lahren.
I’m happy federal workers will be paid but @realDonaldTrump just allowed Nancy to walk all over him. It’s President Trump, not President Pelosi. Act like it. #BuildThatWall
— Tomi Lahren (@TomiLahren) January 25, 2019
And terrifying dystopian villain Lou Dobbs delivered a blistering indictment on his Fox Business show. These ideologues were shocked to find that they had been conned by the guy known for welching on his loans, cheating on his wives, and not paying his contractors. When Bill Maher asked Coulter over the weekend what “her first clue” had been that Trump was “a lying conman” she replied, “Okay, I’m a very stupid girl, fine.”
But then there were the dedicated Trump-humpers, the people in this racket not for the policies, but for the man behind the MAGA. They are the true believers, the folks for whom Trumpism is its own reward, either because it owns the libs or triggers the media or gets them a paycheck. For instance, there was Sean Hannity claiming that while “The left-wing media will say it’s a win” people shouldn’t worry, because Trump will provide. “Some of you say ‘he didn’t get any money for the wall,’” Hannity said. “No he didn’t, but he’s going to.”
Sebastian Gorka used the Trump cave as opportunity to once again pledge his undying loyalty to dear leader:
For the President’s Fair-Weather Friends. https://t.co/gjN1BsdNEV
— Sebastian Gorka DrG (@SebGorka) January 26, 2019
There was Bill Mitchell, the guy on Twitter with the Trump Super Bowl ring, who insisted that “The Wall is as good as built.”
And then the two sides started to go at it.
Mitchell went thermonuclear on Ann Coulter for an inability to compromise her . . . well, whatever it is that made her so eager for both Romney 2012 and Build a Wall 2016:
.@AnnCoulter has become Mitt Romney. https://t.co/28WknUJy1T
— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) January 27, 2019
.@AnnCoulter, a has-been political pundit who only gets airplay by attacking Trump on Liberal news shows, had the gall to tell Bill Maher (of all people) the country would be, "a better place if SHE had veto power over Trump."
Um yeah, she said that.
— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) January 27, 2019
.@AnnCoulter's sheer stupidity at playing into the #Media's hands attacking Trump's brilliant strategic move to re-open the government to set the stage for declaring a national emergency to fund the wall boggles the mind.
I used to think stupid this big was reserved to liberals.
— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) January 26, 2019
.@AnnCoulter is a linear thinking moron.
Apologies to morons.
— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) January 26, 2019
And then, Mitchell really dropped the hammer: He called Coulter a Democrat. And you’ll never guess who jumped up to thumb the like button.Mitchell was so hot and bothered he even took swings at Mike Cernovich and . . . Breitbart?
Not sure why anyone is surprised Mike Cernovich is attacking President Trump? In his own words, he "pivoted" from Trump over a year ago after the Syria bombing.
Mike has worn out several pairs of perfectly good Keds jumping on and off the #TrumpTrain.
I've never wavered.
— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) January 26, 2019
Breitbart can get pretty #NeverTrump'ee at times
— Bill Mitchell (@mitchellvii) January 28, 2019
Charlie Kirk was also extremely triggered by the linear-thinking, fair-weathered, useful idiots who really thought they were signing up to get a wall. He did an Instagram video about how conservatives just can’t abandon Trump with a headline “so sick of people stabbing @realdonaldtrump in the back.”
Young Charlie also urged people to understand that Trump has been waging the entire fight by himself, because he is beset on all sides by enemies or the Deep State or whatever. And even the Daily Caller couldn’t take it.
Better yet, think for yourself, fight for yourself, and support the President only when he does something you agree with. Blind loyalty is stupid no matter which side engages in it and the people pushing it are selling something. https://t.co/SfqEvHPE7V
— Derek Hunter (@derekahunter) January 26, 2019
The weird undercurrent in all of this is that, like courtiers serving under an egomaniacal monarch, the sycophants seemed almost pleased to have a chance to differentiate themselves from other loyalists in the eyes of the king. Newt Gingrich, for instance, rushed into a Fox studio to assure the president that he should never listen to irrelevant people like Ann Coulter because he should only listen to highly relevant people such as Newt Gingrich.
And Coulter was having none of it:The best (and worst) thing about the cult of Trumpism is that any deviation from the officially prescribed adoration is cause for ostracism. Trumpism cannot accept dissenting views from its supporters and will countenance no accountability for the dear leader. What is good is what is Trump; and whatever Trump is, is by definition good.
It turns out that not everyone who joined this cult realized what they were getting into. Sure, some people signed on for the Twitter followers and the TV contracts and the prospect of landing one last job in government. But some people signed on because they really, really wanted a wall.
Today those people are like the rubes who paid to go to Trump University. And they know it.
The two camps are going to war now, but this is just a skirmish—a limited preview of what the conservative world will look like if Trump loses reelection. It will be a war of all, against all, the likes of which American politics has not seen in a hundred years.